I Understand You Now

The first time
I was too young to understand

The second
I was too bitter to appreciate your beauty

The third
I had built a wall to protect my heart from you

By the fourth
I was convinced you were a thief
Taking things that didn’t belong to you
Selfishly stealing joy from happy people
For no apparent reason
You were
A heartless bastard

Over time
I became numb to your appearances
Unmoved when you reached your hands
From your world into mine
Unafraid of your power
I shifted my focus
From worry and despair
To the resolute action of preparation
I, would not be an easy catch
Bring it Muthafucka
I’m here!!!!

Your visits became more frequent
Each touch
Closer to my heart than the last
Each random invasion into my world
Left me
More emotionally drained than the previous one
Until finally
I became cold
And indifferent to your cries for attention
Matter of fact
To the results of your actions
It is what it is
I would not cry a single tear for you anymore

I believed in my heart
Your actions
Were nothing more than a personal vendetta
To break me down
To beat me until I quit
Until I
Became submissive to your will
You were jealous of my spirit

Why else would you keep
Taking my loved ones from me?

My grandmother,
Lying in excruciating pain
In a hospital bed
Surrounded by praying family

Fighting against
The final stages of a pancreatic cancer
That we all hoped she would overcome,

In her eyes
You could see
She had already been overcome
“I’m ready to go home” she said
“I’m tired”

It was the first time
I saw you clearly

Death,
I think I understand you now
You come in Peace

I thank you
For granting peace to the people I love

Through your actions
You have given the ones who stayed behind
A greater appreciation of life’s beauty
You have brought us closer to one another

Because of you
We no longer take life for granted
We no longer assume we have forever
To achieve our goals
We no longer believe
We have tomorrow to make things right

Death,
By constantly reminding us
Of our mortality
Of our frailty
You have freed us from our arrogance

You have forced us
To understand the meaning of “Before It’s Too Late”
and how important it is to Love
Right now

Thank you

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About Sean King

Husband, Father, Writer, Philosopher, Humanitarian

Posted on December 31, 2011, in Poetry and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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