This is a place for my random thoughts and musings. Enjoy..
You can find a gazillion different reasons to be angry, irritated, sad, offended, or put off. I encourage you to find ONE reason to smile, to be happy, to be thankful (and act like it), and to love… When you find that ONE reason, hold on to it like your life depended on it, because it does… and every time you start looking at those gazillion reasons to allow negativity to seep into your life, look back at that ONE reason, smile, and then say, “You almost got me that time devil.”
As a black man in America, one of my more difficult challenges in becoming the human being I was placed here to be has been learning to differentiate between God’s purpose and my personal ambitions. Coming to grips with the fact that being gifted mathematically doesn’t mean I’m supposed to be a math teacher or labor in a science or engineering field, that being gifted with the pen doesn’t mean I’m supposed to be renowned poet or author, or that being able to eloquently speak in front of people doesn’t mean I’m destined to be a politician or minister standing at the pulpit.
This struggle of understanding my purpose is especially challenging in the land where we often confuse success, as defined by man, with the favor of God. Like many others, I have told myself that wealth, high paying jobs, nice houses, and fancy cars are a reflection of God’s favor… often ignoring the fact that the pursuit of these things has left me feeling unfulfilled and that my happiness has been elusive.
Over time, and with the help of my elders combined with a heavy dose of eulogies delivered at untimely funerals, I’ve began to open my eyes, to reflect on life, and to shift my thinking accordingly.
Today, I can’t say I completely understand my purpose, that I know where I’m going, what my future challenges will be, or that I even understand which of my many gifts God wants me to focus on. I’m not sure if I will end up wealthy or broke, whether my life will be celebrated or forgotten, or how much of a difference my life will make on the lives of others. What I do know, is part of my purpose is to love and be kind, to understand and be empathetic, to move forward, reach back, lift, climb up, fall down, and then get back up again…
…for now, I understand enough to keep moving forward and listening as I go. I’ve been through enough to be faithful in my understanding that the rest will be revealed to me in due time. I’ve rushed myself into failure enough to know that I need to be patient. I’ve allowed man misguide me enough to know I need to be mindful of what I allow to enter my mind, my heart, and my soul. Most of all, I’ve learned that I need to enjoy and be present at all times in the journey that is called today. Here’s to the journey…
I barely noticed the deep scar on her neck. The chipped crooked teeth that overlapped like giant mountains was nothing more than a fleeting thought in my mind. Her rough, raspy voice… None of it took away from the beauty of those captivating eyes staring… Staring at me with the grace of two Eagles tangoing on Cumulus clouds to the rhythm of light gust, cutting through my tough exterior and bringing warmth to my cold soul. Yesterday, I would have turned my lips up in disgust… Today, I smile. God has made us all beautiful… What changed? Me.
Either you are..or you’re not
39 