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Today, A Reflection on Life

Spreading Love

As a black man in America, one of my more difficult challenges in becoming the human being I was placed here to be has been learning to differentiate between God’s purpose and my personal ambitions. Coming to grips with the fact that being gifted mathematically doesn’t mean I’m supposed to be a math teacher or labor in a science or engineering field, that being gifted with the pen doesn’t mean I’m supposed to be renowned poet or author, or that being able to eloquently speak in front of people doesn’t mean I’m destined to be a politician or minister standing at the pulpit.

This struggle of understanding my purpose is especially challenging in the land where we often confuse success, as defined by man, with the favor of God. Like many others, I have told myself that wealth, high paying jobs, nice houses, and fancy cars are a reflection of God’s favor… often ignoring the fact that the pursuit of these things has left me feeling unfulfilled and that my happiness has been elusive.

Over time, and with the help of my elders combined with a heavy dose of eulogies delivered at untimely funerals, I’ve began to open my eyes, to reflect on life, and to shift my thinking accordingly.

Today, I can’t say I completely understand my purpose, that I know where I’m going, what my future challenges will be, or that I even understand which of my many gifts God wants me to focus on. I’m not sure if I will end up wealthy or broke, whether my life will be celebrated or forgotten, or how much of a difference my life will make on the lives of others. What I do know, is part of my purpose is to love and be kind, to understand and be empathetic, to move forward, reach back, lift, climb up, fall down, and then get back up again…

…for now, I understand enough to keep moving forward and listening as I go. I’ve been through enough to be faithful in my understanding that the rest will be revealed to me in due time. I’ve rushed myself into failure enough to know that I need to be patient. I’ve allowed man misguide me enough to know I need to be mindful of what I allow to enter my mind, my heart, and my soul. Most of all, I’ve learned that I need to enjoy and be present at all times in the journey that is called today. Here’s to the journey…

A Lonely Journey

Celebrate Life

No matter how many organizations you join, how many groups you belong to, how many friends you have on FB or in real life, how big your family is, or even if you’re married; you will find there are some parts of your life that you have to walk alone to get to the place God wants you to be… and it scares us…

…scares us, to think we will find ourselves somewhere beyond the reach of our family, the support of our friends, and the love of our spouses. It’s terrifying to think we might end up in a situation where even our cries to God seemingly fall on deaf ears… but it’s necessary…

…necessary for us to have our faith tested so that we can grow, so that we can become better human beings, so that we can learn to believe and trust in the path we’ve been called to walk. It’s not that our family and friends are gone, or that God has stopped listening and loving us; they’re not and they haven’t… the truth…

…the truth is on the path to our destiny, we will all reach a point of solitude and loneliness. We will all get to a point where we want to quit and consider going back to the comforts of where we’ve been because it seems easier that way. My brothers and sisters, that’s where we need to rely on our faith. That’s where we need to have the courage to take that next step. That’s where we have to know, the burdens we carry our necessary. The darkness we endure is just a small part of our journey… and if we continue moving forward, we will arrive at a place more beautiful than any that we’ve ever been… God is…

…God is not a religious concept of a being in the sky looking down at us. God is a part of all that we are and all that we do. Don’t lose focus on the way to your greatness. The journey has always been designed to break you down and build you up.

Beautiful Blemishes (A Freewrite)

My scars are more beautiful than your perfection, because buried deep in them you will find the the glorious stories of Kings, links to the creation of civilization, the roots of mathematics and science, the origins of language, and the foundation of space travel.

My scars are more beautiful than your perfection, because each one of my scars is unique like a seashell; and if you put your ear close enough to them, you will hear the the soulful sounds of slaves passing messages to guide their brothers and sisters to freedom.  If you put your ear close enough to them,  you will hear the sound of love battling hate for your soul, for your life, and for your tomorrow.

My scars are more beautiful than your perfection, because each one of them represents my journey; and if you slowly rub your hands over them, they will teach you to retrace your steps, help you find the fork in the road where you lost your way, and guide you back to the garden where it was just us.

My scars are more beautiful than your perfection, because they represent resiliency, courage, hope, and everything we are to become when we learn to love ourselves again and to say goodbye to this dead end pursuit to nothingness.

My scars are more beautiful than your perfection, because your perfection is nothing more than a man made mask.  A costume designed to cover up your insecurities and to hide your flaws.  A veil built with the purpose of hiding enough of you to make you beautiful…

…and my scars, they were handed to me through trials and tribulations carefully crafted by the hands of God, seared into my heart with the hot iron of love, and synthesized with my soul.

My scars are more beautiful than your perfection, because they represent me, unhidden, unafraid, unbowed, and exactly as God intended me to be…  Beautiful.

What has your perfection done for you?