You can find a gazillion different reasons to be angry, irritated, sad, offended, or put off. I encourage you to find ONE reason to smile, to be happy, to be thankful (and act like it), and to love… When you find that ONE reason, hold on to it like your life depended on it, because it does… and every time you start looking at those gazillion reasons to allow negativity to seep into your life, look back at that ONE reason, smile, and then say, “You almost got me that time devil.”
…and now that the time has come,
I won’t say goodbye
I’ll tell her to say hello to my grandmother for me
I’ll tell her to let my father know I forgave him years ago
I’ll tell her to give my mother a hug
I’ll tell her that her kids will be just fine
I’ll tell her that I’ll continue shining her light
and telling her story of life
to millions of young women
who need a good example of what a real
woman acts like
I’ll tell her that she is my hero
and that I love her
and that I thank God for giving
us an angel named Tamara
But I won’t say goodbye
because eternity never ends
and love goes on forever
and memories remain fresh
for millennia
and her soul will
continue uplifting spirits
long after her body
quit the race of life
and there is no need for sadness
when a purpose has been served
and God calls us home
to his peaceful arms
I won’t say goodbye,
but I will thank God
for finally allowing her to rest in peace
Rest in Peace my dear friend…
I’ll see you soon…
As a black man in America, one of my more difficult challenges in becoming the human being I was placed here to be has been learning to differentiate between God’s purpose and my personal ambitions. Coming to grips with the fact that being gifted mathematically doesn’t mean I’m supposed to be a math teacher or labor in a science or engineering field, that being gifted with the pen doesn’t mean I’m supposed to be renowned poet or author, or that being able to eloquently speak in front of people doesn’t mean I’m destined to be a politician or minister standing at the pulpit.
This struggle of understanding my purpose is especially challenging in the land where we often confuse success, as defined by man, with the favor of God. Like many others, I have told myself that wealth, high paying jobs, nice houses, and fancy cars are a reflection of God’s favor… often ignoring the fact that the pursuit of these things has left me feeling unfulfilled and that my happiness has been elusive.
Over time, and with the help of my elders combined with a heavy dose of eulogies delivered at untimely funerals, I’ve began to open my eyes, to reflect on life, and to shift my thinking accordingly.
Today, I can’t say I completely understand my purpose, that I know where I’m going, what my future challenges will be, or that I even understand which of my many gifts God wants me to focus on. I’m not sure if I will end up wealthy or broke, whether my life will be celebrated or forgotten, or how much of a difference my life will make on the lives of others. What I do know, is part of my purpose is to love and be kind, to understand and be empathetic, to move forward, reach back, lift, climb up, fall down, and then get back up again…
…for now, I understand enough to keep moving forward and listening as I go. I’ve been through enough to be faithful in my understanding that the rest will be revealed to me in due time. I’ve rushed myself into failure enough to know that I need to be patient. I’ve allowed man misguide me enough to know I need to be mindful of what I allow to enter my mind, my heart, and my soul. Most of all, I’ve learned that I need to enjoy and be present at all times in the journey that is called today. Here’s to the journey…
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