Blog Archives

Can’t Blame Her, Don’t Blame Me


I opened the door,
she stopped
looked
clinched her belongings
while getting in her
defensive stance
like she was going to
have to fight me off.
Can’t blame her,
they don’t meet too many like me anymore
“Gentleman”

I said,
“Hello. Good Evening.”
She shifted her head down
like she was throwing her body
into another gear,
you could hear the rhythm
of her toes pressing down
and her heels picking up
as she race walked past me
no eye contact
no response.
Can’t blame her,
they don’t meet too many like me anymore
“Hospitable”

I asked,
“Is this seat taken?”
Immediately
she flashed her engagement ring
from a ceremony
that never happened with
a boyfriend
she had left so long ago
he was barely a distant memory.

She responded
“I’m married.”

Not that I asked,
all I really wanted to do was
rest my feet.
Can’t blame her,
you have to be careful who you trust
there are a lot of unsavory characters
out there,
and besides
they don’t meet too many like me anymore
“Real”

We just met
natural connections
based on deep dialogue
and reflections
on life
love,
and what it means
to live in this world

Time flew
to the cha-ching of
light libations
fantastic conversation
kicked over a light melody
under the hypnotizing glow
of the moon

I offered to walk her to her car,
she paused
before grabbing her bags
looking me in the eyes
and saying
“I’m parked just up the street, I’ll be fine”
as she proceeded to walk away

Carrying with her
insecurity,
fear caused by a lifetime of history
with games, and
people trying to take advantage, and
men with ulterior motives
hidden desires
aggressive tendencies, and
rape

Can’t blame her
for wanting to take her chances
with the unseen monsters
of the dark alleys
rather than letting me into her space

I looked like the baggage she was carrying, and
even though the dark alleys had their danger
they weren’t as dangerous as the horrors she
had already come to know

Besides
They don’t meet too many like me anymore
“Brotherly”

I only saw her once more,
in the morning paper
a story of a lady
who never made it to her car

I vaguely remembered her name
but the eyes I saw in the photo
were unmistakable,
they were the eyes of the lady
I had met the night before
the sister I let walk to her car alone
my sister

Now I carry her memories like
gorillas on my back
those eyes,
her eyes
staring into my tortured soul
my emptiness

So don’t blame me
for holding the door open
or speaking
or conversing
or being real
or treating you like a lady
or offering to walk you to your car
or worrying about you

Just know that we all have baggage
and LOVE,
is a lighter load to carry
than the burden of what if
or what I should have done.

Where to Point the Finger

Contrary to what some believe, the biggest threat to “you” achieving “your” dreams is not the haters or non-believers, but “you”. You and your lack of willingness to sacrifice the “gotta have it nows”, lack of patience when working towards the big picture, and lack of faith to overcome those bumps in the road on your way to your dreams. To sum it up in plain English, quit blaming everyone else for your failures and take some responsibility for your life.