Blog Archives

Grief

We choose
defiance over grief

Moving forward
over slowing down to contemplate

Masking our pain
instead of facing it

Staying busy
rather than letting the hurt
grab ahold of us

We cover the holes in our heart so adeptly
that even those closest to us can only see the glimmer of light
sneaking past the mountains
of sadness eclipsing our light

On the outside
we feign the appearance of everything is fine

In truth
we are worn out
tired of overcoming
emotionally exhausted
decimated by loneliness
stuck in the middle of nowhere
screaming to the heavens
as we struggle to hang on

We find ourselves
looking to those that remain
to fill the gaps of those that are no longer here
only to be greeted by the harsh reality
that some holes are simply too big to fill

We lash out in frustration
and our cries go unanswered

We walk a path toward peace
on a narrow road nestled neatly
between anger and hurt,
there is no end in sight

We see light
and then turn a corner
that leads us back to darkness

We are hopeful
but this taxing journey
threatens to take away all that we love

In our heart
we know we will make it

In our mind
we are unsure of what our world
will look like when we do

Will our loved ones still be there?

Will the blissful joy ever come back?

Will the soul that emerges on the other side resemble the soul that began the journey?

Conversation in Haiku (I-Esha and Sean)

Every now and then, my sister I-Esha and I will have a conversation using the Haiku format.  Here is the latest installment.  The first installment can be found here.

~ I-Esha
Running is easy
fear of love quickens my pace
A new world record

~ Sean
Where are you going?
Key moments of life, just missed
By your running heart.

~ I-Esha
Not sure, but can’t stay
memories haunt me, chase me
hoping to find faith

~ Sean
Take a look at self
Faith is buried inside us
Find? Choose to become.

~ I-Esha
I’m a romantic
Wounded by lies, pain, deceit
Running protects me

~ Sean
The wounds help us grow
Preparation for what’s next
Running just buys time

~I-Esha
Wise man speaks true words
No more running, time to heal
Still scared, but hopeful

A Word on Fear

Every now and then you’ll meet someone who’ll tell you about all the things they dreamed of doing and being when they were younger. Have you ever noticed the hurt, the pain, the regret in their eyes? The regret of someone that allowed their fear of failure to get in the way of the opportunity to chase their dreams and to follow their heart.

_

I don’t share this to say we’re better. I share this because I know that there is a part of all of us that is afraid. It’s okay to be afraid, it’s not okay to be ruled by your fear. What we think is keeping us from being hurt often ends up being the thing that cuts at us the deepest. Listen to their soul when they talk to you, they are really telling you to get up and do that thing you know you have to do. Regardless of the outcome, regret is a heavier burden to carry than doing your best.